A Rant: Bathroom Etiquette

The following is a rant, where I basically write quickly with no prior idea of what im writing, and hope it makes sense:

So im sure it wasn't my fault the toilet seat got left up, but I swear to god i know what was my fault.  The task at hand is not to be right, its just to be logically correct.  In all the ways you can screw up this is one of hte biggest moments you'll have.  Digesting the irritation that she spits out at you.  Excuse me, but did I hear you complaining before.  In the last resort I may have acted irrationally, and stormed the throne without much of a care, and was relieved to relieve myself in that bowl, and in my satisfaction of emptying my bladder of its undesirable piss, I may have left it up.  So its not my fault, but my joyous satisfactions fault.  And thats logically correct.  Digusted as I'm sure you are, it has little to do with me, it won't kill you to lower it will it?  Didn't think so, now make sure you wipe your hands its bothering me.
Ultimately this makes little to no sense, I know.  But maybe I can talk about my toothbrush, and the bristles up on it.  And the way they wipe the tar off my teeth like a lesser cheese grater.  And then i splash around some water in my mouth and spit, and soak off my toothbrush in the tap.   A minty joy in my mouth, between my teeth and over my gums.  Im dressed in whitening product, and im ready for the party.  Not until I gargle some mouth wash, and spit that out too.  oh a little to hot, don't know if i'll last but i manage, and i careen towards the great unknown, with a mouth full of lemony freshness.
My soap dish is empty, my body wash is half empty, and my eyes are stinging with shampoo, how will i wash my delicates in this condition, or my armpits too.  A steaming spray of water from the shower head tingles through my back hairs, and my mind wanders to showtunes, that ecxavate their way up my throat and out my mouth.  Im singing into the showerhead, the star of a broadway show, while im screaming from withing my eyeballs, the burning just won't stop.  I'm soapy and disoriented, and my soap dish is still empty.  Good gracious marie, what the hell is happening to me.
The tiles are wet, I slip and I trip, and go tumbling down the stairs i bet.  My ass hurts, my mind aches, and im just getting up when I fade and I slip, Holy cow its dangerous in here.
Hello world, bitter and cold, uncleaned, and unkept, and decidedly green.