All The Live Long Day

Let's begin this day by reciting in our minds the truth that all things point back to the shoe shine man
In a silky smooth summer time blue we see the clouds transcend the possibility of doom
Created in passing the wolves devour whole the dreams dreamt in a dreaming dreamed sky
Calling forth the action that the hallelujah is useless when hell is upon us
And the shiner of shoes with his tools and his blues goes on course to make it out alive
Demanding respect and staying where he's at in spite of everything that is happening
Yes when doomsday wheels spin and turn in anticipation of the end all of being all
The man with the kit to sparkle your sneakers goes on working as if its all there is
In his sad days he see's a moment of clarity and he goes on going on to be what he is
For it is, and so it shall be, amen.

Fears in Her Mind

After some time of perilous thought

She ventured into the unknown no more prepared

No more knowing

And no more brave than she was before

Once upon a time she felt the same

And though they said that time would give her courage

She did not find her strength

The storm was still a storm

The wild was still unwelcoming

And the same heart beat inside her chest

So that when she set her feet upon the wet earth

The soaking feeling

Turned into a sinking feeling

Where her heart beat just a little faster

Where she moved just a little slower

The sounds of nothing making her shaking self

A mysterious dilemma plagued her soul

Though she was afraid

And in truth felt no new bravery in her bones

She continued forth in the cool of the morning dew

Quaking in her feet

As the soggy moist earth squished between her big and other toes

As she ventured into the great unknown

Perhaps she had gone this far before

Perhaps she was never really afraid

And perchance this was true

she did not believe it now

So when she collected her milk and cookies from the store

She turned right around and ran with a bag in hand

Threw open her doors

Sat upon her love seat

Where she chewed upon her treats

and rotted her brain with police procedural 

And forgot to put away her drink

So that it was rotted by the next morn.

Contradictory Fears of Hopefullness

in the beginning it was easier to let the words come out so that I could see you smile
to feel the pain of seeing you happy was something that I could endure
but in truth as each days goes on I don't know if I'm so sure
for when once it was easy now I found my own self-deception a curse
when once I sought to give you light I find myself in a darkness I birth
to say farewell now would be a travesty against the grains of time
for what time was spent in this place of peaceful contemplation
and where can I begin to feel the warmth of my own lies
in a secret place that truly will satisfy

on the winds of a long off winter i can still feel the presence of yourself
guiding me into my own lie and giving me back what i originally gave
i do not hate this feeling but it frightens me so for what i thought were simple promises
that i told to make you smile i find myself believing them
but i already knew the original intent
in a sense my self-deception is coming to fruition and i am landing in a grave of roses
a place beautiful but cold,
familiar and terrifying wrapped up in the same placid lie that set me apart in the first place
and in this treasure seeking endeavor i am but alone in my head when i am alone in my body
trying to find excuses to not destroy your world
but finding no good reason not to be who i am with who you are

in the end it was harder to keep it all inside and to burst forth from the seems and fearing to see your tears
i am not a fool or a villian but a foolhardy lover
who placates himself with hopes for a different tomorrow
when it all feels quite the same as it did yesterday.