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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Letter, Robin Williams

In one of his stand up specials the late George Carlin cracked that suicide wasn’t an easy way out it was hard.   While he found the humor in the situation of leaving notes, and what not as usual with most of the things Carlin spoke about there was a level of seriousness to it.   Yesterday the world lost one of the greatest entertainers to this tragic end.  What must have gone through his mind to make him determine it would be better to feel nothing ever again is beyond me, but I know a decision like that could not have been made easily.   Robin Williams was 63 years old, if suicide were any easy thing and if it were true he dealt with his demons most of his life then he would not have made it as far as he had.   How many times do we have to push through till we are too tired to push anymore?  Can we absolutely judge someone for this final act when we do not know all the circumstances?  The answer is ultimately a no.   In this life we assume that when someone can make us laugh or who can entertain us every moment of their existence is a happy person, someone who has no need to battle demons, no need to feel pain for absolutely no reason.  That’s what depression is.   Its not about feeling awful over something, that’s grief, or regret, being a depressive is feeling low all the time.    Somehow finding a light in your life, only to feel as though its simply covering up the shadows of your existence.  It sounds sad, and maybe it is, but it’s a part of many people’s lives.  I cannot judge Mr. Williams decision to leave this life, but I can mourn it.

I’ve been trying to think why this particular celebrities death bothered me so much more than others.  Or why the death of a man I didn't actually know should bother me – as with the case with most celebrity deaths.   Maybe in some way he was a part of my life.   As a child growing up in the nineties I was treated to many films that Robin Williams did that were pointed toward families and children.  Hook, was one of my favorite among these at the time.  For the longest time.   I think it ultimately sums up what he meant in my life, he showed that even as an adult, even as someone who at the start of the film could have resembled my own father still had a child's heart deep down inside.  After all the cynicism this world has to offer Mr. Williams showed us, at least through his movies that getting older could still be exciting and full of awe.   We didn't have to age to be the grumpy old cuss’ that were expected to be.  We could age and be zany and sporadic and maybe annoy the hell out of people, but we could be that.    Then there was Mrs. Doubtfire and in its way featured a similar journey, the cynical father, the loving and bewildering nanny, and ultimately discovering it’s the same person.  There’s Flubber, Toys, and so many other works during that time that I can remember.  It was as though he were our crazy uncle who we got to visit on screen.  Of course he had his dramatic roles too, but while those are mesmerizing it’s the silly high energy performances that struck me the most growing up and are the ones that I find myself reflecting on.   Then I cannot leave out the Genie from Aladdin, who was quite possibly unlike any other animated character we had seen in an animated feature.  He was undeniably an icon.

It is scary to anyone including myself who may suffer from any sort of depression.   We are scared, shocked, and I think if Robin Williams can’t handle it, how can I.   It is important to remember that we are all of us individuals with our own journeys.   We all deal with our shortcomings, our fears, our histories differently.   Our yesterdays are not all the same, as will our tomorrows be different.   My outlet has always been to write, so that most of my stuff is bitter and sometimes quite dark but its as though I’m letting someone else experience it.   I’m sure Mr. Williams chose to make us laugh because in some way he wanted us to feel better, and it would make him feel better, but it can be exhausting shouldering the happiness of a crowd, of an audience whether it be one other person or thousands.  Some of us give so much of ourselves to lift up and hold up others that we forget to let people lift us up, or we forget that we need to lift such people up in return.    I’m not saying these are the thoughts that ran  through Williams’ head but they could have been.   None of us truly know what someone else is feeling, and the world is a cold unfeeling place, so that most of us, most of the time feel numb.

My inner child will miss you Robin Williams, and I will not let the part of me go.   I think even if it was a small influence you have had an impact on millions of lives.  Young and old.   I believe that your work will hold the test of time, that many of us can go back and feel like we are laughing for the first time.  Many of us can go back and shake our heads at your off the wall bonkers style and we can smile for a couple minutes, and stretch it out to a couple hours, and hold onto that feeling for a couple days, to a couple months, to a couple years, and if we do that enough maybe we can be okay.   You are not saving us, but you are giving us a few extra moments to reflect and save ourselves.   I’m being sentimental but many people do not realize the impact all this movie going can have.  That there are real people inhabiting those characters on the screen, there are real emotional places they are drawing from.  That the catharsis they bring us, just as reading a book, or listening to music, can give us breathing space in our lives.   Robin Williams wasn't the only one who gave that to us, but he was one of the main ones, at least to me.

I celebrate your work.  And I hope to share it one day with my own children, and while I’m sad that I will not see another film of yours I know that when I look at my film collection I know right where I can find you.   Good-bye old friend, may you have found your calm.

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