The Defeatist Remarks, "I can't"

I think it was a defeatist who said,
I'm happy the way I am,
look.
I think he was right or probably she
It doesn't matter
A sexist, is what it was,
and a liar.
The defeatist would smile often,
but not too much
just a little
A grin hiding crooked teeth,
muttering a word like fierce.
Tigers are fierce,
not people.
We the defeatist remarked are beautiful wallflowers,
A splatter pattern seen as pedals on our wall,
We don't need to strive to anything else,
than what we already are.
and then she cried deeply into her pillow,
and stared at a model in a toothpaste ad,
and remarked that she wished her teeth were that shiny.
The defeatist was, is still here,
as much as those who think they are ahead of the curve,
I don't know if I disagree with their terms,
But I hate their arrogance,
The defeatist is a little person trying to be strong,
not making themselves stronger,
Trying to have its appearance,
They crack more than the honest ones,
The depressed ones,
More than the complainers,
the defeatist is likely to seek out the noose.
I've said much about the defeatist,
I've remarked remarkably about this hypocrite,
Because i've tried to adopt her persona before,
And the best solution is honesty,
I am unhappy with this, and that,
I am unhappy in my poverty,
i am unhappy in my looks,
I am unhappy in love,
But i am okay with that, I am happy in a type of misery,
But I will not pretend I don't want the rest,
I will not sit here, and lie to you, or anyone by saying I dream of the way I am,
This is not my perfection,
And while the defeatist grows bitter with age,
And what ifs,
I will grow content and satisfied with age,
and grow like a wine,
Better, and still pondering what ifs, but pleased with my now.
Now what of the artsy ones,
Those that fill the spotlight,
Those whose mediocrity but buttering up has landed them on the silver plate
of a fast food joint,
Who spew out the odd ones, because they believe they have achieved a celebrity
What of them,
Let them have it, let them have the first and middle laughs,
But I will have  a last one,
I don't say this out of bitterness I say this out of respect
For those who struggle daily,
Those with true talent who are squandered because somebody blew the proper people
I say this because you don't deserve your fifteen minutes, but that's okay,
I see you, those who think because they know this act or that scene,
And can sing this song just "okay" that they have reached some higher plain
That they are better than us,
I see you, and you make me sick, you pricks,
You fuckers,
I am bitter on this point, but not for long, one day you will envy me,
You will say to yourself, he's not so good, he kind of sucks,
You will mock those with guts from a front row seat because your casting is assured,
Somehow you have surpassed a rat, but your still a feral cat,
I am man,
I am a human being,
and I will prove this american dream.
The defeatist see's you and follows you around like a damned dog
He looks your dirty feet,
She dresses your wounds and listens to your self loving bullshit,
I am a bitter person,
I am not me,
But a version of the lost souls,
Struggling from within
And starting without,
I am them, all of them, pissed, driven, but afraid,
The one time complainers, who realized the game can be one
with enough quarters,
The truth is you don't have taste,
You don't have virtue,
You don't have time,
i bleed sadness, and I bleed drive,
While my mind is clouded and muddled,
A one time almost temporary defeatist,
I tried to persuade myself to think "realistically"
but I will rise up,
And be happy with my life, and my choices, because they are what I want,
I will arrive at my destination because I drove me their,
I will become my own idol,
i will worship me, and keep myself polished,
And I will be prideful in my accomplishments,
In my wife,
In my children,
In my work,
In my time here on this pitiful sad planet,
I will hope the future can be as bright,
I will hope this for my children,
And when I die I will be burned,
Turned to ashes,
Because I am gone.
The defeatist would say misery is her friend
That he needs it
Deserves it,
And it does deserve it, and needs it,
It needs a reason to be defeated,
And I will not offer my hand more than i can,
i will not let them make me a part of their club,
i will set the scene,
light the mood,
and mold my life, and my thoughts to my carriage,
and i will ride comfortably into the sun,
loved,
understood,
and complicated,
filled with what ifs, and how did i accomplish this, i will take pleasure in that,
What i managed to do, not what i could have done,
To have grown from a fetus into a human,
From a baby into a boy,
from a boy into a man,
To have survived as long as I will,
That,
That is a success story,
While never wishing ill will on anyone,
While never purposely hurting anybody,
While being direct, and bitter to make people wake up,
I am him,
I am me,
I am sorry for that.