a reflection for this day

as i pulled into the parking lot on the far end of campus/ i was struck by the quaint way the museum of cars sat/ as though the world didn't exist/  all the commuters already inside/ the hidden headlights passing through the tree line in front of me/ just the quiet vehicles/ abandoned/ like the way you'd see the empty highways on one of the walking undead shows/ the music on my radio thumped out a bass tone against my leg/ the speaker present in the door/ i switched off the radio then/ turned the key to silence the buzz of my engine/ removing my phone from my pocket/ as i had observed the laws of the road/ keeping its screen backlight from averting my eyes/ my attention as i drove the twenty or so minutes to arrive here on campus/ social media pulled the tap of my finger/ drawn to it like a magnet/ a product of our time/ to keep in touch in bitter silences/ spiteful laughters/ reading up on the ups and downs of strangers once friends/ once schoolmates/ that once upon a time/  first thing to greet me/ at the top of the feed was a headline/ mass/ dead/ concert/ shooting/ vegas/ a quick google search brought me to the full story/  the usual suspect of words/ the cache of bewilderment/ avoiding the comment section i exhaled a breath for the unobserved frustrations i'd find/ an assortment of finger pointing/ instead of observing the unfiltered truth/ the perpatrator a radical of some sort/ just a man who should remain faceless/ a shadow/ who should fade away/ given no credence/ just a mist/ or a piss/ we can easily forget/ as it circled down the bowl/ into the sewage/ with the rest of the extremes/ regional concentration didn't matter/ a bastard/ made for the fires of hell/ a personal pet to lucifer/ one who should be prodded/ plucked/ double-fucked/ by the pointing end/  i tried to react/ looked to what words could be typed with my thumbs/ in what way my minor contribution to social media might be impactful/ maybe not/ though in the swirl/ storm of the political madness/ maybe a way to contribute a voice amongst the anarchy/ in order to say that madness is its own territory/ no more belongs to political parties/ idealogies than the moon belongs to a sovergnity/ all gods children/ perhaps/ though what have we become/ disappointments/ even the ones who swear highest allegiance/ misconstrude words/ the christ figure maybe dying for nothing/ if we can't even see light in our enemies/ just a digression/ this dog/ rabid/ blood-thirsty/ sorry sack of flesh/ he was someones son/ maybe/ but no more a man/ than an ant/ more a cockroach/ more a virus/ an infection/ so i will not see him/ as i do not see the flu/ he is but the gum on my shoe/ a nucance/ sitting in that car/ on campus/ letting a momentary fear ride over me/ like a deluge/ that thin tidal wave of thought/ a ectoplasmic wall/ what place is safe/ ignoring/ for what use is fear in life/ not for me/ i got out of my car and walked along/ a heavy psychology book weighing down my backpack/ about child development/ about children/ babies/ fetuses/ about life/ i get to where i need to go/ taking the quiz that i need to take/ about learning/ speaking to my mother of the barrage of news she will have to hear/ as my dad's morbid curiousity keeps him glued to the news of mass murder on tv/ a fascination/ asking why/ why/ why/ i responding who cares/ a beast/ a rageful stranger/ with a trigger finger/ a goal/ some madness/ maybe/ maybe not/ random/ perhaps/ perhaps not/ i look to correspond my answers to my quiz/ a vision of younger siblings/ little niece/ little nephew/ a vision of victims on the strip/ in night clubs/ around the world/ on trains/ humorist offices/ sure its all around/ not of everyone/ amonsgst those gone/ there are those who cared not to think/ found solace in forgetting/ of singing along to songs/ of the happy observance of their contemporaries/ dancing/ smiling/ sipping a beer/ the country singer/ strumming a guitar/ a drummer drumming/ not my type of music/ music though/ a universal truth/ perhaps the only one/ across idealogy/ across regions/ cultures/ across religions/ what is there to gain/ from this loss/ no business sense/ in this life/ not a business/ a contribution to madness/ then come the clowns/ blowhards on tv/ passing theory for wisdom/ seeing it all set out/ i open up my computer/ i want to write something down/ never able to full say what i want to say/ gotta let something out/ but what contribution are their in words/ still/ i find the address bar/ typing in the words to bring me here/i type/ as i pulled into the parking lot at the far end of campus...