The Trouble as it Started

There were half a million reasons to depart
Though, I found it hard to choose
It would have been fonder to have it be less
Maybe just less than zero
Or decided for me
In essence I'm weak
And the weekend is arriving
Tasking me to rest
While the workers get done
While the fates dawdle along
Convicted of meandering
Deemed unfit to task anything at all
There were all those reasons and then some
But I wanted to retire
Slink back into my skin
Hide behind my pale flesh
That hadn't seen the sun for as long as the sand upon the beach
For as long as winter beat us through and through
Out and out I failed
Wishing just to sit,
Maybe sleep,
Maybe fade away,
Not having to think a thousand thoughts
For all the million choices
Subtracting the limited limitless of my pondering
Convincing myself to twist into pretzel like tangles
Falling apart at the seams
Wishing it was all an uncanny dream
For all of those million decisions
For one simple puzzle
It wasn't fair to buzz me wrong
When I'd still hadn't thought of an answer.